Friday, May 6, 2011

Awkward Encounters.

So tonight I met up with two friends at a local bar to watch the hockey game. As I sat waiting for them, I saw a mutual acquaintance approach the bar. When he entered, I smiled and waved, assuming he was coming to meet with our group - I know he often watches hockey with our mutual friends. He stared at me as if I was a stranger, and then walked over to another girl seated on the other side of the restaurant, sat down beside her and whispered something to her. She immediately shot me a dirty look, put her arm around him possessively, and then kissed him, in a clearly proprietary gesture. I felt completely awkward and embarrassed, lowering my hand and staring fiercely at the table, wishing I could take back the wave.

This acquaintance and I worked on a project together about six months ago. It's not a question of him not recognizing me. We had spent a lot of time together, and had a number of good conversations. I really liked this guy, not in a romantic sense, although it was perceived by some of our mutual friends that I had a crush on him. I didn't. I just wanted to be his friend, really badly. You know when you meet someone and just think, "They are so cool"? That's how I felt about this guy. But he was single, and I was single. When people started teasing me about having a crush, he avoided me like the plague, froze up completely. It made me feel rejected, unworthy, when really, I hadn't actually put myself out there.

And now tonight. I didn't quite know what to do when he rebuffed me. This felt like an extension of his initial rejection. I thought maybe I should go over, but what if they weren't meeting our friends? That would make an already awkward encounter even more excruciating. So I waited for our friends to arrive. It took them 10 agonizing minutes, in which I received a text letting me know that yes, Snobby Guy was meeting up with us. Meanwhile he and his girlfriend continued to throw glances over their shoulder at me, and his girlfriend in particular kept staring daggers at me, as if to say, "How dare you have smiled and waved at my man, girl-sitting-on-her-own-in-a-bar?!" This cozy, smug little twosome totally thought I had been hitting on him, it was clear, and were trying to make me feel small.

Eventually our friends arrived, and we went over to join Snobby Guy and his girlfriend. I smiled sweetly, stuck out my hand to introduce myself to the girlfriend, said hello to Snobby Guy. I did my best to show that I was not embarrassed, although I was completely mortified. "I didn't know we were meeting someone else," said the girlfriend apologetically. Right. And that's why you were giving me the stink-eye? Snobby Guy looked suitably embarrassed. "I didn't know you were going to be meeting us," he said. Uh, yeah. But even if I wasn't meeting them, why wouldn't you at least return the wave when I waved at you, acknowledge you know me? Later on, maybe 15 minutes later, when the conversation had truly moved on, Snobby Guy stared at me and blurted out, "Sorry." I knew then that Snobby Guy just thought I was hitting on him. Again. And he wasn't classy enough to at least be friendly, cordial. Again. But he got caught in the act.

I don't understand some people, I really don't. I'm of the opinion that you can never have too many friends. But it's clear that Snobby Guy doesn't want to be friends, and definitely doesn't want to be more than friends. And after his assy behaviour tonight, I'm not sure I want to be his friend, either.

1 comment:

Heather Anne said...

That guy sounds like a douche. Don't waste time on him.